what to do when friend goes through sexual harassment

How to Support a Friend After Sexual Set on

Sexual set on can have lasting and painful consequences, and friends and loved ones may not always know how to bear witness back up right when it'due south needed virtually. Being there for someone in the aftermath of sexual assault can be an extraordinary act of kindness. You can't erase what happened to them, but you can be a vital source of comfort as they heal. For friends and family who desire to be there for a loved one dealing with this kind of trauma but don't know what to say or do, these tips from the Joyful Centre Foundation tin help. This organization aims to assist survivors heal, in part by encouraging their loved ones to respond with compassion and empathy, not distance or avoidance. If you have a friend going through this ordeal, read on.

1

Heed actively

If your friend opens up and talks about what they've endured, that takes courage. Do your part to honor that backbone past listening. Don't endeavour to change the subject to something less painful. Don't squirm or act uncomfortable if you tin can help it. Just listen. That, on its own, is an act of love. Let your friend know how much it means to you that they trust you lot with their story. Promise that you will go on it confidential, unless they ask otherwise. Many survivors say that only being able to tell their story to someone lightens their feelings of isolation, secrecy, and self-blame. If you're at a loss for words, try using statements like:

• "I hear yous."
• "Give thanks you for telling me."
• "It took a lot of courage to tell me about this."

ii

Believe and validate

Many survivors experience that what happened to them was their mistake. They may feel ashamed and worry that they won't be believed—or worse, that they'll be blamed. You take an opportunity to help lessen those fears. Gently remind them that they accept zip to exist aback of, that assault is never okay, and that you believe them without hesitation. Violence and abuse are never the survivor'southward fault. Attempt saying:

• "I believe you."
• "I'chiliad and then sorry this happened to you."
• "Nothing y'all did or didn't do makes this your error."
• "Yous didn't ask for this, and yous don't deserve this."

three

Enquire what you can exercise to help

Indelible violence and corruption tin make a person feel profoundly powerless. It's disquisitional for survivors to regain a feeling of power and command by making their own choices—starting right away. As their friend, you lot can help with that by respecting their decisions. Offering to back-trail them if they choose to seek medical attention or go to the law—but don't overrule them if they cull not to. Let your friend take the lead on whether you talk or not. It'south okay to make suggestions—from seeing a counselor to getting out of the house and going to the movies—only whatever your friend says goes. Support the decisions they make, even if y'all don't hold with them. Resist the urge to try to "set up" or minimize the state of affairs. Saying things like "Everything is going to be all right" or "Information technology could have been worse" may seem supportive. Only they tin make your friend feel misunderstood or dismissed. Instead, you can say:

• "You're not alone. I care about you and am here to listen or assist in any way I can."
• "I'm sorry this happened to you. How tin can I assistance?"

4

Offer resources

Many organizations specialize in helping survivors of sexual assault get the resources and back up they need, including counseling, medical attending, help dealing with the police force, or other legal support. Y'all can assistance your friend research and review their options. (Though again, while you can offer data, let your friend make their own choices.) These organizations can connect you to resources in your area:

• Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network Sexual Set on Hotline, i.800.656.4673
• National Kid Abuse Hotline, 1.800.422.4453
• National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1.800.799.7233
• National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, one.866.331.9474

5

Back up them for as long as they demand it

Some survivors find that in the days and weeks afterward their assault, support drops off. People end request how they're doing. Everyone else moves on. This can be a very lonely and distressing thing to experience—and you can help. Check in regularly. Remind your friend that you're there if they want to talk more—and that y'all always volition be. Avoid at all cost any suggestion that they're taking too long to recover; people recover at their own step. You can say:

• "I'm sorry this happened. This shouldn't have happened to you."
• "I only wanted to check in with y'all. I'm here if you desire to talk. No pressure."

6

Know your limits

While you care for your friend, don't forget to treat yourself too. Witnessing your friend'south pain, hearing the details of their story tin affect you lot in powerful means. At times, you might feel too tired to heed with care and compassion. Or y'all may be dealing with your own emotions and feel like you just tin't handle anything else. These feelings are totally valid. Information technology'south non helpful to you or your friend when y'all accept on more than you tin can handle. If y'all feel burned out, take fourth dimension to recharge. Go for a walk. Grab up on your favorite show. Put your phone away long plenty to take a yoga class. Practice whatever helps yous replenish your free energy and manage your feelings, and then you tin exist a practiced friend to others—and a practiced caretaker for yourself.

More Abuse & Sexual Assault Resource

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Source: https://optionb.org/advice/how-to-support-a-friend-after-sexual-assault

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